On Turkeys, Goons, and Goblins

I’ve haven’t posted in a while…feels good to be writing again. I’ve been in a real feel-good mood as of late. Actually, it’s more like gratefulness. A few months ago, I decided that enough was enough. I felt like I was in a mental and physical rut, and I knew that I couldn’t continue to live my life like a song on replay.

I had a job, I was attending grad school, I was enjoying life…doing all the things that 20-somethings usually do. I felt that while I was living this semi-charmed life, something was missing. I couldn’t stand working at my job, and while grad school was great, something inside of me yearned to do more. I consider myself a creative person and love expressing it through my style, writing, photos, hair-anything that strikes my fancy. I’m always looking for that new-new, so to speak. I enjoy and knew that I didn’t want to continue living my life for others, my culture, or the sake of emotional security.  I knew exactly what I needed to do, but I was too afraid-if I quit my job in this economy, will I get a new one? What if leaving grad school isn’t the smartest idea? I knew that if I wanted to take a risk and start working on the things I loved, now was the time.

After a few months, I decided to take the risk and quit my job in August, with no future job prospects in mind. I left under the pretense that I was going back to school full-time, but I took a leave of absence from grad school too. At first, it felt great! I finally started Bellacoils, and I had all the time in the world to read, learn, grow, and chill at Starbucks every other day. Then, reality set in….although I had a good amount of money saved, I didn’t know how long it would last. I wanted to go back to school again, but not for the same degree. Some of my friends and family worried about me-after all, this wasn’t the logical, analytical person they knew. Why would anyone quit a job without a new job, and drop out of grad school on top of that? Although it seemed like a foolish decision on the outside, my intuition told me deep down inside that I’ll be fine…more than fine.

Fast forward three months…now I have a new, better paying job, and I’m applying again to another grad program. Bellacoils has been picking up slowly but surely, and I’m making my passions more and more of a reality now. I took a huge risk without any concrete plans, and it’s paying off. I’m extremely grateful for the ebbs and flows of my life this year, and I know that these experiences shaped me even more. This year showed me that in order to get to where I needed to be, I had to believe in my capabilities and my future, even if no one understood.

As Thanksgiving and the new year approaches, I’ll be looking back at the past and looking forward to the future. I can’t wait.

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Comments
4 Responses to “On Turkeys, Goons, and Goblins”
  1. Mr.TramueL says:

    I applaud you for following your head and heart & stepping out on faith.

    I wish you success.

  2. kdaddy23 says:

    Sometimes, ya just get lucky like that; I know too many people who’ve done what you did… and they still haven’t gotten their acts together again yet. And, yup, if you don’t believe in your ability to do stuff, you’re hosed big time; having others understanding is optional and situational.

    • bellacoils says:

      Hey Kdaddy23! Thanks for stopping by and reading…I appreciate it!
      My friends have a running joke that I’m one of the luckiest people they know, lol. Luck can only get you so far without determination and perseverance, though. I didn’t expect most people to understand my decision, but the one or two who did encouraged me during times that I second guessed myself. Ultimately, you’re right…all the understanding in the world is not gonna do anything if you don’t believe in your capabilities. Taking a risk like that has made me more fearless in tackling other things, too.

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